BtVS: At his Grave
by Leni
Summary: Two girls meet at the grave of someone very important for them.


TITLE: At His Grave.  
AUTHOR: Leni   
DISCLAIMER: I love my cat, I love my teddy bear, I even love my Literature teacher but I DON'T LOVE JOSS!!!!!!!!  
DISTRIBUTION: Of course. Only ask.  
TIMELINE: In the future.  
SUMMARY: Two girls meet at the grave of someone very important for both of them.  
AN: This fic is strange, really. But it has been nagging at the back of my mind for some days and I just had to let it out. Enjoy it and tell me what you think.  
RATING: PG.  
FEEDBACK: It would be nice. It would be *really* nice. Could *you* be nice and send it??  
  
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Darkness had settled just some minutes ago. The moonlight reflected softly on the many stones surrounding her. She had been here just yesterday, burying her last link to her past life. She had cried and sobbed for hours, not even letting her best friend console her. She hadn't wanted to come here again but something was pulling her towards this place.  
  
She glanced at her surroundings. A normal person would only see the ornate tombstones, only hear the overwhelming silence. She wasn't a normal person. She could see the bloody traces of past and recent fights; she could hear the loud whispering of the dead and the undead celebrating his death. When she was a little girl she had always been afraid of cemeteries. Her father had told her that nothing would ever happen to her... even at such early age she had known that he was lying. She raised her head and saw the place she would be in a few seconds. Now she knew what - or rather who - had called her to this grave.   
  
Somehow it wasn't a surprise.  
  
There she was, the only person who could make her see red and want to smile at the same time. Her feelings had always contradict themselves in regard to this woman, even since the first time she saw her in her house, trying to be her best friend and gain her forgiveness. She hadn't succeeded, but she also hadn't lost at all, either. Selene accelerated her pace. In few seconds she was nearly in front of her... friend?... nemesis?  
  
A thick cloud obscured the cemetery while the two lonely figures regarded each other silently. One had long, blonde hair, her green eyes full with heavy emotions; the other one was taller yet younger, her face showing a determination no teenager should possess. Both seemed relaxed in front of the other but a careful observation would discover their mutual uneasiness.  
  
"I knew you would be here." Selene said finally. Her voice was flat. Her face showed no emotion. There was no change in her attitude towards the older girl. There never was.  
  
"I needed to." The other one responded. Her petite body was reclined on the tombstone. Her blonde hair spread carelessly on her back. She seemed not much older than the brunette did, maybe two or three years. But then, appearances always lied. Her eyes didn't. They were sad and weary. As always.  
  
Selene felt the odd urgency to comfort the older girl. She quickly dismissed that thought. That 'girl' sure didn't deserve it, at least not from her. But still, there was something she wanted... needed to do. She needed to have a serious conversation with her, the same conversation she never had had the wits to begin. She now realized that she had been waiting unconsciously for this. She needed to know the truth. Restrained fury colored her voice when she spoke. "Are you happy now?"   
  
The other one didn't even raise her head. She just traced her fingers slowly over the letters of the tombstone. "Should I be?"  
  
She really hated her when she answered one of her questions with another one. It made her feel unsure. "He is finally yours again." She stated. She couldn't help the bitterness in her voice.  
  
"He never was." The other figure countered softly.  
  
She nearly laughed at that statement. "He didn't think so." She chuckled.  
  
The blonde smiled faintly. "He was always so stubborn."  
  
"That he was." Pause. "He was the best."  
  
She nodded, all the while tracing her finger over the letters, as if wanting to memorize every detail of his gravestone. 'Maybe she wants to', Selene thought.   
  
She could hear her own heartbeat in the silence that followed.   
  
A faint sparkle attracted her attention. It was the moonlight reflected on a tear on the other girl's cheek. 'She is suffering as much as I am.' She realized. 'Only she doesn't need to. I am the one who is losing him forever.' A sob caught in her throat. Unshed tears began to fill her eyes. She couldn't believe there were still tears in her. "I will miss him." She whispered.  
  
The older girl raised her head to look at her and smiled tenderly. She moved from her spot at the grave and stood in front of her. She raised a pale hand towards Selene's tear-filled face and wiped lovingly the tears. Selene opened her eyes to encounter a warm glance in those green eyes she had hated for so long. Suddenly she understood that this girl would understand her. Once she had gone through the same thing Selene was enduring now. She was the only one who could understand her now that he was gone. She spoke. "I... I just don't know how to go on. He was... everything... He still is." Sigh. "And now... now he is gone and I'm all alone and it isn't fair."  
  
"It never is." Her voice was calm and soft and the truth in her words undeniable. Both of them knew it.  
  
"I know it. I really do. He always told me that we must accept whatever we get but... but this is just so much. I just want to be happy and I can't... I... I don't know what to do..." She sniffed loudly. Suddenly she was swept in a tight embrace.  
  
"You'll find a way." The blonde said firmly when she finally released her. Selene met her green eyes. They were wiser, more mature, everything that her own brown ones weren't. "There's always a way to be happy."  
  
"I know there is. If he could move on when his heart left..." She paused and glanced meaningfully at the older girl. "I can do it too. It is just so... difficult."  
  
"I am sorry." The blonde said to the tearful girl.   
  
"There's no reason for." Selene said sternly. She was surprised when she realized that it was the truth.  
  
"I'm still sorry."   
  
"He always was, too, you know. He believed that he should be better than he already was; he always was sorry for not being able to 'improve'." She sighed. "I loved him anyway."  
  
Silence again.   
  
After some moments the younger girl straightened her shoulders and prepared to leave. But before she left she had to know one last thing... she needed to. "Will you stay here?" .  
  
The other one nodded. "Until he needs me again." Was her soft response.  
  
"Then you won't stay for long." There was a bittersweet smile on her face.  
  
"Maybe."   
  
Selene could see the hope shining in the other girl's eyes. Not for the first time she felt a pang of jealousy towards her. "I have to leave, Buffy." She began her way home.   
  
"Wait."  
  
She turned round. She saw the girl nearing her slowly and let her take one of her hands in hers. Her fingers traced the intricate designs of one of Selene's rings as lovingly as they had traced the engraved letters minutes before. Green met brown and Selene felt unable to part her eyes from hers. "Do you know this had been always his, Selene?" She nodded. Buffy continued. "He left this to you... Loyalty... Friendship... Love..." Her voice strayed off. She felt the girl's hands letting hers go. Her voice was really serious now. "It is the most precious item you possess now. Be sure when you give it away. He won't be happy if you aren't."   
  
Selene nodded. She felt the tears threatening her again.   
  
"Leave now. I'll see you again, maybe." Buffy continued.  
  
"Maybe?" She had never thought that the blonde would ever leave her. But then, now she had no reason to stay. It was unfair. She didn't know why she wanted to see her again. Maybe because her last link with the past wasn't gone yet; it was there, in front of her, wearing the face of a girl long gone and with the same hopes and dreams she had had then. The girl she never learned to forgive and love.  
  
"Maybe." Buffy stated. "Now go. The streets aren't safe for a lonely girl." She saw the negative in Selene's eyes and knew what she would say now. She stopped her before that. "Yeah, yeah, I know he taught you how to protect yourself, but still, sometimes it isn't enough."   
  
"You just sounded like my mum." Selene said without thinking. And then she realized what she had said. "I mean..."  
  
"Don't worry." The weary eyes looked at her intensely. They had the same expression they always had when watching Selene. The same 'what if...'-s and 'if only'-s that always roamed in those green eyes. "It's all in the past." Pause. "I would have liked it, though..."   
  
What would have happened if Buffy Summers hadn't died that day all those years ago? That was a question she had made herself everyday since she learned the history of her family. She never had had a satisfactory answer. Would she even exist? She had the nagging feeling that she wouldn't.  
  
The grave was some meters away now. No matter the distance she could still see the words engraved on it. The words she had decided to put there because he never thought that their time would be over so soon...  
  
"Tell him that I love him." She said out of the blue. Then she realized she needed him to know, just in case...  
  
"He already knows it." The older girl said sympathetically.  
  
"Tell him that you love him, then."   
  
Buffy kept quiet. She glanced at her ringless hands and then at the stars above them. The moonlight reflected softly on her blonde hair making her appear more ethereal that she already was. The doubts and fears were clearly visible on her pale face.  
  
"He will believe you." Selene said reassuringly. "He loves you too. He never stopped loving you." It didn't feel bad to say that anymore.   
  
"I am sorry."  
  
"Don't be. I stopped being jealous a long time ago." It wasn't the exact truth. She had put aside her resentment and jealousy just some minutes ago. She continued speaking anyway. "I learned it from Mum, you know; she always told me not to hate you. She said that he loved us as much as he could, that even if he loved you there was still place for us in his heart."  
  
"I am sorry for that, too."  
  
"You already said it, Buffy." She reminded her.  
  
"I meant it then, too."  
  
Selene looked into her eyes. There were full with remorse and sadness. She didn't understand it. "Why aren't you happy?" She asked bluntly.  
  
"I don't want to be alone anymore. It terrifies me. All these years wandering through Sunnydale, with nobody to speak to but you." She paused. "Isn't it ironic that you are the only psychic in town?"  
  
Selene didn't mention that her mother had been a psychic, too. She knew it still was a painful subject for Buffy. Instead she tried to console her. "You won't be alone anymore. He will come for you. I'm sure of it." And she really was.  
  
"I'm waiting and he still doesn't come." Buffy said with a sigh.  
  
'So that's why she hasn't left. I thought that once he was gone they would reunite somewhere...' She knew that Buffy was worried. She said the only thing she knew could reassure her. "He will do it. It has been only a day. You know that he will stir Hell and Heaven to come back to you. He already did it, after all."  
  
"I hope you are right."   
  
"I know I am." She watched as an insecure smile appeared on Buffy's face.   
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Thanks for calling me." - and for understanding me and for being always there for me no matter how much I despised you.- she added silently.  
  
Buffy's expression turned from sad to confused. " C-calling you? I didn't. I haven't done it for years..."  
  
'Huh?' Now Selene was confused, too. Only powerful ghosts had the power to influence a psychic's mind. Buffy's Slayer powers enabled her to do so. If it wasn't Buffy the one who called her then who...   
  
A bright light interrupted her thoughts. The light was so white she had to close her eyes to avoid temporal blindness. When she opened them again she distinguished a new figure at the grave they've been at just minutes ago. It was a man, a very handsome one, she realized. Tall, broad shoulders, black hair... Something tugged at her memory. She had seen this man before... An old photograph in his bedroom... Just before hearing the shout she realized who the stranger was. It certainly was no stranger.  
  
"ANGEL!"   
  
She had been right. He had come back for his true love. She was happy even if that meant she would be alone. Somehow she knew that they weren't coming back. Wherever he was taking her it would be their eternal home. She would miss them both, she realized; yes, she would miss Buffy too. She had been like a loved/hated older sister for all these past years. Past. Buffy looked at her expectantly. Selene knew what she was thinking. "No, I won't go to him. It's your turn now. You've already waited for too long. Take care of him."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Be happy." Those were her last words to Selene before she sprinted towards her lover's waiting arms.   
  
She had told Buffy that she didn't know how to go on. It was true. But she was determined in finding a way to. She owed him at least that.   
  
Selene waited until both of them disappeared in another bright light. She smiled and closed her eyes. She replayed slowly the last moments in the cemetery. She envisioned Angel's arms lovingly put around Buffy's figure. She saw their peaceful features and the soft tears when they kissed; the last smile they gave her before going wherever they belonged to. She opened her eyes. The moonlight illuminated everything with a soft glow. His grave stood there, exactly as she had seen it a minute ago. All was the same, only she wasn't. She knew that if she closed her eyes again she could see the stone as it stood in the cemetery, with the same engraved words Buffy had traced over and over the whole night.   
  
ANGEL O'CONNOR  
LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER  
MAY HE FIND HIS SALVATION  
1973 - 2034  
  
"I love you, Daddy." She whispered to the night. She knew that wherever he was he would love her as much as he could. And for the first time it was enough.  
  
  
End.  
  
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What do you think?? PLEASE tell me. 


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